I'm going to be super honest - I actually started writing this post about five weeks ago, but never quite got around to finishing it. I was fuming at the time, and no-one really wants to read about an angry Claire. (Maybe you do? Let me know in the comments?) I've cooled down a significant amount, however, one thing hasn't changed. The reality of now has not changed. Being stuck in a Long Distance Relationship in 2020 is ridiculously hard.
I'm not saying that it's the hardest thing in the world. I'm pretty confident my appendix bursting eight years ago was probably tougher than this, but it's not easy by any stretch of the imagination.
"It's just really strange, y'know? Normally by this stage, we'd have our next holiday all booked but it's just not even on the radar this time around."
This was one of the hardest statements to come out of my mouth when I left Darwin back in March. It's been nine weeks today since I boarded the plane back to Tasmania. This has gone fast. The issue stands that at current, the plan for me to move is another fourteen weeks away, which means we're not even halfway through this process. I'm frustrated, and annoyed, and coping the best I can given the circumstances.
Do I sometimes wish that I just stayed put when the call to return to our home states occurred? Yep, absolutely. The reality of now still stands that I didn't do that. I chose to come home, and whilst I don't regret doing that (couldn't leave Wally behind, hey?) - it sucks to think that it's going to take so long to get back. There's something comforting in the fact you've got someone to go back to every day - even if it's just to share a coffee with, or a cuddle when you're sad. It's very humbling to know that you've got that option out there - but it's well out of reach.
In the wise words of Katrina, "Bad times are just times that are bad."
I'm trying to remember eventually this time will end. That we will be able to move forward and each day that we trudge through is another closer to what I'm looking for. I'm still entirely grateful that we're still really in a good spot - and whilst it sucks, it's livable. We could have it worse. It doesn't make the situation any easier - but it's always better to look at silver linings, right?