Creativity is a funny thing.
I've had to drag myself away from watching the latest episode of Lego Masters. If you haven't had the pleasure of watching either the first or the second season, I'd highly recommend jumping on the web and checking out the episodes. I wonder sometimes what would happen if we didn't limit the level of creativity that we had as a kid. There's always a time in our lives where we get told to "grow up", or "that's for children". You start to slowly cut out and starve those pieces of imagination in your brain.
If I look back ten years ago, I was a very effective and creative writer. I'm not ashamed to admit that I had many fans of the very abstract prose and poems I'd come up with. Half of the time what I wrote made no sense, and I go back from time to time to read them, and hand on heart, there is no way today I'd be able to come up with the writing I did back then. Half of the time I can't believe it was me that wrote it. My pen name hasn't changed, and my old accounts remain the same. Those words must have come from me.
I also brought up the archives of my photos from seven years ago and wonder where the sense of freedom disappeared to that I once felt like I had. The truth is that technically nothing has changed. I could go and create them if I wanted to, but I still can't.
Everything evolves with time.
I might not have the same skill and freedom in my writing as I did in my teenage years. My photography may also not be the same as it was when I first picked up my camera. This isn't a bad thing necessarily. We need to embrace that things change. That we, as individuals, change. I may not be able to write about eating disorders and depression in cryptic metaphors anymore, but I can highlight in factual posts with more elegance the importance of speaking up about those issues.
I read a quote a few days ago that said:
"Once you're told that you can't fly, your brain loses that ability to try forever."
So I may have lost my ability to build lego dream houses that my mini figures would be proud of, but I can build tiny houses instead that my Sims can thrive in. I might be a little bit scared to step out of my photography creative zone because I dislike the way I look and feel about myself - but this might just be a way for me to push the boundaries of what I can do.
I'm optimistic. We continue to develop our sense of wonder under new lights and new experiences. Sometimes that light has dimmed, and we can't see ahead quite as far as once could. From time to time, the process is foggy and it takes a while to be able to see clearly. There are times where it just damn does not work even when you turn it off and on again several times. But then sometimes a firework explosion goes off in your head and you run very quickly with whatever path that inspiration takes you.
So my inspiration hat is on at the moment, and I'm keen to try and keep it there as long as possible. I hope to see that magic again soon.